I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances. (Either that, or my luck's terrible.)

I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove

I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing

John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.

While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.