I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.

It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.

Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?