It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.

I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me." "What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself?" "Sure she could. I just found that out too late.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon.

I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.