Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?