Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.

With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon.

Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.

Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication

Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world? Woman: Really? Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere.