Policeman: "A hermit eh? Then why's your table set for four?" Groucho: "That's nothing. My alarm clock is set for eight.
Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood
Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill.
You're a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn't even have the decency to have!