This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

My brother thinks he's a chicken-We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs

Go, and never darken my towels again

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.