That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Wages? You want to be wage slaves? Answer me that! Of course not. What is it that makes wage slaves? Wages! I want you to be free. Strike off your chains! Strike up the band! Strike three you're out! Remember, there's nothing like Liberty, except Colliers and The Saturday Evening Post. Be free, now and forever. One and individual. One for all and all for me, and tea for two and six for a quarter.