That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: "The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you." Firefly replies: "Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more."

Patience is the art of finding something else to do.

Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.