A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.

I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.

I'm not much of a correspondent. My letters are not only uninteresting but sparse. I'm glad I don?t have to write for a living. It?s arduous work and the money is very uncertain. On those rare occasions when I wander into a bookstore it amazes me to see the avalanche of literature and semi-literature that is turned out weekly in this country. The people who write these things are either desperate for money or love starved. Why should anyone on a nice balmy day lock oneself in an office and hit a typewriter for hours on end. I think one of the greatest pleasures in the world is not writing.

I know a member of one of New York's first families (first as you drive up Tenth Avenue)