Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
The only real laughter comes from despair.
I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.
Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill.