Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl.
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
Policeman: "A hermit eh? Then why's your table set for four?" Groucho: "That's nothing. My alarm clock is set for eight.
Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.