I'm not much of a correspondent. My letters are not only uninteresting but sparse. I'm glad I don?t have to write for a living. It?s arduous work and the money is very uncertain. On those rare occasions when I wander into a bookstore it amazes me to see the avalanche of literature and semi-literature that is turned out weekly in this country. The people who write these things are either desperate for money or love starved. Why should anyone on a nice balmy day lock oneself in an office and hit a typewriter for hours on end. I think one of the greatest pleasures in the world is not writing.

Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face

The Alps are a simple folk, living on a diet of old shoes. And the Lord Alps those who alp themselves.

Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

I shall drink no #‎ wine before it's time! OK, it's time.

Clowns work as well as aspirin, but twice as fast.