Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!

You're heading for a breakdown. Why don't you pull yourself to pieces?

Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.

The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.