Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.

Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.

My brother thinks he's a chicken-We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs

The admission fee was a viper's tongue and a half-concealed stiletto. It was a sort of intellectual slaughterhouse.