Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.

Time wounds all heels.

I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.

Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.