If he's been married for 31 years, he's not the same man.

Two women at a resort discussed dinner: "The food here is lousy," the first noted. "You're right! And such small portions!!" the second added

If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.

The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?

Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of bandages and adhesive tape.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.