I shall drink no #‎ wine before it's time! OK, it's time.

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

I love to read. My education is self-inflicted

Clowns work as well as aspirin, but twice as fast.

Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t make you happy and this is undeniably true, but everything else being equal, it’s a lovely thing to have around the house.

Women should be obscene, not heard.

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.