Two women at a resort discussed dinner: "The food here is lousy," the first noted. "You're right! And such small portions!!" the second added

Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world? Woman: Really? Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere.

That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills

I shall drink no #‎ wine before it's time! OK, it's time.