Two women at a resort discussed dinner: "The food here is lousy," the first noted. "You're right! And such small portions!!" the second added

You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.

That's bad luck: three on a midget. From "At The Circus

Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.

I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.

Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed.