Two women at a resort discussed dinner: "The food here is lousy," the first noted. "You're right! And such small portions!!" the second added

I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.

I shall drink no #‎ wine before it's time! OK, it's time.

I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.

If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.

Patience is the art of finding something else to do.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.