Do they allow tipping on the boat? - Yes, sir. Have you got two fives? - Oh, yes, sir. Then you won't need the ten cents I was going to give you.

It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa

In France, for example, it is not unusual for a husband to have a wife and a mistress. However, if in addition to these two he's also having a fling with a fringe tootsie, both the wife and the mistress are outraged and the combination lover, husband, and cheat may well wind up with a large French bread knife between his ribs.

Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!

If you take cranberries and stew them like apple sauce, it tastes much more like prunes than rhubarb does.

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked his weight in wild caterpillars?

Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.