Whatever it is, I'm against it.

I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.

Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.

Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.

Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!