Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.

As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.

You've forgotten those June nights at the Riviera...the night I drank Champagne from your slipper - two quarts. It would have been more but you were wearing inner soles.

Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.

When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'

I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.