You've forgotten those June nights at the Riviera...the night I drank Champagne from your slipper - two quarts. It would have been more but you were wearing inner soles.

That's bad luck: three on a midget. From "At The Circus

Mrs. Teasdale calls for rescue and Firefly delivers the famous line to his cohorts as they rescue her: "Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did."

Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?

Celebrate the cracks, because that's how the light comes in.

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.

Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl.