You're a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn't even have the decency to have!
Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.
I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago...I shot my broker.
[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
In any relationship, the woman has control, the clever ones don't let the men know.
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'