The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.

Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while

A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.

I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.