I know a member of one of New York's first families (first as you drive up Tenth Avenue)

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

I'd have liked to have gone to bed with Jean Harlow. She was a beautiful broad. The fellow who married her was impotent and he killed himself. I would have done the same thing.

If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills

Women should be obscene, not heard.