I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.

I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.

While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

The admission fee was a viper's tongue and a half-concealed stiletto. It was a sort of intellectual slaughterhouse.

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. ANOTHER VERSION I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. ANOTHER VERSION I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.