If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.