I love to read. My education is self-inflicted

I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.

Always examine the dice.

I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.

That's bad luck: three on a midget. From "At The Circus

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!