While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.

John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

That's bad luck: three on a midget. From "At The Circus