If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.

I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come home." Groucho Marx was never one to pass up an opportunity for a play on words and this occurs in his dialogue of the 1933 film Duck Soup.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.

Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!