Hello, I must be going.

Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.

Was that you or the duck?

Do they allow tipping on the boat? - Yes, sir. Have you got two fives? - Oh, yes, sir. Then you won't need the ten cents I was going to give you.

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.