Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns

I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!

I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.

Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip