We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . But we're going back next week.

If you take cranberries and stew them like apple sauce, it tastes much more like prunes than rhubarb does.

A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.

Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world? Woman: Really? Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere.

I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.