One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.

I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.

Blood's not thicker than money.

I'm not going to pay good money to join a club that lets in people like me.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.

I love to read. My education is self-inflicted