One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.

I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing

Do they allow tipping on the boat? - Yes, sir. Have you got two fives? - Oh, yes, sir. Then you won't need the ten cents I was going to give you.

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.

This would be a better place for children if parents had to eat spinach.