Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
I came here for a party and what do I get? Nothing. Not even Ice cream.
Do they allow tipping on the boat? - Yes, sir. Have you got two fives? - Oh, yes, sir. Then you won't need the ten cents I was going to give you.
I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.
How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?