If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.
When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.