She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.

Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.

I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.

I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.

Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.

The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.

Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar" Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change." Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.