I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.

I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.

If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked his weight in wild caterpillars?

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.

Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.