How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel.

I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.

I've met a lot of pin-up girls, but I've never been able to pin one down

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?

If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.