When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth"
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.