I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.

You're a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn't even have the decency to have!

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.

Blood's not thicker than money.

Hello, I must be going.