No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
TV is the rat race of the century.
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
I came here for a party and what do I get? Nothing. Not even Ice cream.