If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.

And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Celebrate the cracks, because that's how the light comes in.

Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!

I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.