If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.

It isn't so much that hard times are coming; the change observed is mostly soft times going.

A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.

I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.

I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.

I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.

Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.