If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.

When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'

Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.

Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.