If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.

Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face

How would you like to feel the way she looks?

I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove

I know a member of one of New York's first families (first as you drive up Tenth Avenue)

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.