Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!

Was that you or the duck?

Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.

Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.

No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.