When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth"

This would be a better place for children if parents had to eat spinach.

With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now

I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.

Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t make you happy and this is undeniably true, but everything else being equal, it’s a lovely thing to have around the house.

I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.

The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.