With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now

Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Twelveworth.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman

I love to read. My education is self-inflicted

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.