He thinks I look alike!

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

This would be a better place for children if parents had to eat spinach.

Do they allow tipping on the boat? - Yes, sir. Have you got two fives? - Oh, yes, sir. Then you won't need the ten cents I was going to give you.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.

Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.