Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.

Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.

If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Do you mind if I don't smoke?

Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.