Policeman: "A hermit eh? Then why's your table set for four?" Groucho: "That's nothing. My alarm clock is set for eight.
Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.