I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come home." Groucho Marx was never one to pass up an opportunity for a play on words and this occurs in his dialogue of the 1933 film Duck Soup.

I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.

I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.

With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now

Time wounds all heels.