Home is where you hang your head.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth"

When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

Whatever it is, I'm against it.

Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.