If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.

If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.